Sometimes life is just annoying. Nothing seems to go right and once you feel like things are going right something else goes wrong. That’s how this week has been for me so far, an uphill battle with no real sign of a break. I keep trying to re-center myself because the worst part is, nothing is really going wrong. Classes have been full, I’ve been getting my workouts in, I am sleeping well at night, heck I even had a massage this week! Yet I still feel like I am in a slump. Nothing is exciting to me right now and that is really dragging and really hard. Especially when it feels so selfish and rude to be feeling down when I have so many things going right for me! This morning I told myself I was going to keep positive today and fight through any negative with my own positivity and that was going really well until about 1:00pm when I told Tony I did something which to me was productive and worked out and to Tony, was productive but not the right thing to do for the situation. I was furious. How dare he make me reverse all the work I just did!!! Don’t worry, it gets worse…he was right. He was right. Dang guy is always right! Does it mean I want to reverse all the work I just did, no. Does it mean I am no longer frustrated by it, absolutely friggen not. But he is right and I know I need to do the right thing even though it’s harder, not as convenient and exhausting. So as I am coming down from my anger surge, I decide to run home and grab some things before coming back to the office and starting my reversal process. I decide to check the mailbox and I see a package. I literally said to myself as I saw the package, “the f%$#” because it was literally the universe, God, Buddha, whatever you believe in sending me a little reminder. It was my “Namaslay” shirt that I ordered last Friday that said it wouldn’t be here for another two weeks. I ordered this shirt because I thought it fit who I am and my new recent journey. My love for yoga has grown immensely and so has my love for slaying a workout with some snatches and burpees. The shirt reminded me of who I want to be and represent. Not only someone in the world who can center herself, see the teacher within herself and remember to see the teacher in others, but at the same time be a total bada$$ who can work really hard for what she wants and have some solid quads and gnarly snatch in the meantime. Getting the shirt in the mail today reminded me of my process, my journey. I am reminded that my life is under a transition for growth. Think of when you reorganize in room or a closet in your house. You pull everything out and it turns into a large disaster on your floor and you are trying to remind yourself why the hell you even started this. Then you persevere, say some nice things to yourself, swear a little and keep pushing on. Once you see the finished product, you are reassured that it was the right thing to do and it feels good! Take the icky feeling turmoil in your life/mood and us it as an opportunity to see the transition that is happening. Growth and change are occurring so persevere and stay steady my friend. Find compassion for yourself and feel what you need to feel so that you can keep on keepin on. Thank you for being a part of my journey and growth.
Namaslay,
Cate