I think my ELC story is best prefaced by all the reasons I had to NOT join. First, I had free access to a weight room so I wasn’t going to pay to go to a gym. Second, I HATE group fitness classes…Ok, hate is a strong word, but I find them way too “generic” – Nothing sounds worse to me than a fully scripted, everyone does the exact same thing at the exact same time kind of workout that has minimal ability to individualize; I don’t find them purposeful (Sorry, Les Mills). That leads me to number three – I do not like to “exercise”. I like to train. My athletic/competitive side will never die. I need an end goal or my ambition lasts for a day. Fourth, I didn’t have time. By the time I got done with work (I coach track and field at UMM), it was 7pm, I had to make dinner, finish my office work I didn’t have time to do that day, and I was flippin’ exhausted. And no way in H-E-Double Hockey Sticks was I getting out of bed before the sun to go work out. Finally, I have always had poor views of the “Crossfit World” – Too many “bruhs”, too many instances of people getting hurt because they’re not taught proper movement, and too many concepts/constructs that make my strength and conditioning background say, “WTF?” I have always appreciated the fitness side of it – The men and women you see in the games are BEASTS. But again, to me it’s not training, it’s getting fit (which takes me back to reason number three).
I first heard of ELC back in the fall when I was talking about Yoga with a friend who said, “I just joined this new gym and they have yoga – You should check it out with me!” (Refer back to paragraph one for reasons I turned her down.) Additionally, the studio at which I learned yoga was AMAZING, so I became a bit of a yoga snob and after trying out a couple other places since then, nothing did the trick for me. Needless to say, the yoga didn’t even entice me. Add another reason not to join.
Let’s leap forward to January, 2017. I was 25lb heavier than when I graduated college and 30lb heavier than where I want to/”should” be. I was coming up with every excuse in the book to not use the free weight room I have access to, and did not have a goal to keep myself on a plan. I was unmotivated, feeling pretty down about how my physical image didn’t match my mental image of myself, and honestly a little depressed from life in general. I decided back in December to go on a diet (clean food, not less food) and allowed myself to get through the holidays and then some to mentally prep for it and get myself committed. It was less a “New Years Resolution” than it was simply giving myself a swift kick in the a**. About a week into the diet, I was sharing my nutrition journey with some friends and one said, “You should join this gym with ‘us’!” But I replied with, “the only time I would be able to go is 5:30am….so no.” (Mornings and I are not friends.)
Long story short, I was afraid. I was afraid that I was no longer, in fact, the person I have made up in my mind. I was afraid that I was, in fact, super out of shape. I was afraid that I wouldn’t be able to do the things I was once able to do. So I avoided finding all of that out like the plague.
It didn’t take me long to rethink that decision and, as Cate would say, check my ego at the door. I took my new found motivation and ambition that my diet required of me, along with the invite, and took it as an opportunity to dig deep and say, “You know what, Jess? Cut the crap and get your s*** together,” knowing (finally admitting) that all of my so-called excuses were BS. I had a vision of an athletic, fit self, which was far from reality and finally succumbed to the realization of it, and was able to admit that I needed to do something because honestly, I was growing unhappier by the day. So I seized the opportunity and told my friend, “I’ll go if you go with me at 5:30am.” (Secretly hoping she’d say no…..she didn’t.)
So I hopped on Facebook, sent Cate a message on Sunday night, and somehow got my butt out of bed for a 5:30am workout that Monday morning. I walked in and saw a few familiar faces and lots of new faces, and was warmly greeted by the “5:30 crew”. I looked at the board, didn’t think it looked TOO terrible… And then proceeded to get my butt kicked. At the end of the workout, I was LITERALLY flopping around on the floor because I couldn’t even push myself up off my knees for a push-up. My “badass athlete” image of myself was shattered in the best way possible. I was out of shape and had been in denial about it. Not anymore. I had goals to train for (#1 – Don’t flop around like a fish trying to do push-ups). I was paying for a gym so darn right I was going to use it. I was doing strength training (I hate running) so it was something I would enjoy. I was training with people of SO MANY different levels and finding myself more excited for their victories than I was for mine. There is not one person who is guaranteed to finish first or last on any given day and it’s beautiful. It’s motivating. It makes differences in abilities disappear. Plus, it still allows me to appease my competitive side.
I think my ELC story is best closed by all of the reasons excuses I had to not join. First, I was not using the free gym I had access to because I was not able to self-motivate enough to commit. Second, I hate group fitness classes, so it’s a good thing that’s not what we do at ELC. We train together as a group, but it is much more “organic” and unscripted and meaningful and individualized. Third, I don’t like to “exercise” so it’s a good thing I now have goals to train for (I’m already doing so many push-ups ON MY TOES!!! No more floppy fish!) I’m getting fit, but still have very specific goals I can train toward. Fourth, there are no Crossfit “bruhs” at this gym, and while I admit there are still moments when I say, “*sigh*….Crossfit…”, Cate (and everyone else) knows what she’s doing so I tell my inner strength and conditioning coach to shut it. Fifth, I didn’t MAKE time to work out – I had plenty of time to do it. Plain and simple. Sixth, I’m a yoga snob…Who has finally found a new yoga home (Carly is AWESOME!). Finally, and it took me some time to realize it, I was very much in the habit of never doing anything for myself. Everything was centered around work and my athletes. It felt so good to make a decision to do something for ME. I didn’t know how much I needed ELC in my life. I’ve had to fight back tears mid-workout because I couldn’t believe I was making it through it. I am happier, I FEEL better (physically and mentally), and I’ve lost a little weight but I don’t even care about that anymore because I can feel myself getting stronger and more fit every week. I am so thankful for Cate and ELC every day. I am thankful for the “5:30 Crew” for welcoming me into their family and pushing me every morning. I am thankful that I looked at all of those excuses, which in hindsight were fears and denial, and left them at the door that first morning.
Trying something new is hard and scary, especially when you’re as stubborn as me. But joining Empowered Living Co. was seriously the best decision I’ll make all year. I’ve met some amazing people, witnessed some incredible journeys, and found the “me” I had worked up in my mind but wasn’t being in real life.
-J.Devine